Do you doubt your creativity as much as I do mine? Purple conversations ep1
I must say that it has taken me almost a month to write this article because I have doubted myself for that long. Imagine the horror!
This is no imposter syndrome article or a “how to get over doubt” guide. This is me coming to terms with reality and hoping that there is someone somewhere who feels the same.
Do you ever doubt your creativity as well? Well, before you answer that question, I guess I must tell you what I think creativity is. Creativity to me is more than talents like drawing, painting, singing, and so on. To me, it is being able to do something unique that adds value to you or those around you. It is putting yourself to work, letting your imagination run free, and then creating something as a reward to you.
I have read articles and heard people say that self-doubt is good for creativity. Self-doubt helps you criticize yourself and challenges you to search deeper and further. This sounds like a wonderful concept but nahhhh it has never worked for me. Self-doubt makes me plunge into fear and into an abyss that I rarely come out of.
It is tough and painful knowing that I am bursting with ideas to change my life and hopefully touch the life of someone in this vast universe yet I do nothing. I do nothing because I doubt the ideas I have and question the irrational fear that has plagued me ever since I knew the meaning of fear.
No, I’m not depressed and I hope you’re not? I do get sad and anxious though. I wonder if you do too?
I like to think that someday I'll magically break out of this vicious cycle of doubt but I know that there is no knight in shining armor coming to help me. I know I must create my magic and trigger my fairytale.
And in the words of Anne-Marie, I would like to ask, “are you impressed with my honesty?”
to be continued….
