I hit the reset button on my life and here’s how I did it.
A woman’s hair adds more than beauty, it can become a source of power.
I made a crazy, impulsive decision with my hair back in December 2019 and after watching Nappily Ever After directed by Haifaa al-Mansour a few days ago, my decision kinda made sense to me.
I realized that a woman’s hair tells a story that is personal and unique to her. There’s something about a woman’s hair whether it be the length, color, texture, or style that forms a bond. I decided to find out more about this and I did learn a few things. But first, I have to tell the story of my hair so buckle up.
I have always had a funny relationship with my hair. My culture requires babies under two years of age to cut their hair after they are born. Some sort of first haircut tradition I never questioned.
I got older and grew my hair until I decided I didn’t want my hair anymore. It was a crazy cycle of growing my hair and then cutting it and this went on from primary school all through high school. There was even one time I cut my hair and rocked my mini fro for some time. That ended when some boy in my class took it upon himself to tease me every day. He played with my hair so much, I had to braid it to save myself.
Fast forward to my first year in the university, I cut my hair again. I cut my hair just before my first semester of college and then started growing it back in the same semester. This wasn’t about hitting the reset button but I was caught up in the trend of transitioning from relaxed to natural hair.
I can’t even keep up with myself sometimes.
Moving on, I grew my hair and maintained my dream natural hair, kinky, and everything until December 2019. Everything changed one faithful day.
I had just loosened my faux locs which was quite a painful experience and was recovering from it.
Looking your best is a must in my family especially around Christmas time, so my sister and I went to get our hair done. I got into the salon and after much deliberation, decided on a hairstyle. Now, this is where things get interesting…
The hairdresser put a comb into my hair to untangle it and I just couldn’t handle it. There and then, I told her to stop because I wanted to cut my hair. Imagine deciding to get a haircut at the hairdresser's. I called my mom and informed her of my latest impulsive madness and she flipped. Everyone was confused and the hairdresser tried to talk me out of it but my mind was made up. My sister was concerned for my mental health. She thought I was breaking down or something. I laughed it off, took some money, and went down to the barber's shop close by. I had a picture of the haircut picked and everything.
About an hour later, I arrived home with a fresh haircut while my sister came home looking all stunning in her new weave.
To add to it all, I had a wedding to attend as a bridesmaid, and getting your hair done is essential in the wedding business. The bride was unsure how I would look on that day beside everyone else but hey, I had a wig. I came prepared for everything. I resumed school in January and all my friends were worried something had gone wrong during the holiday. Whenever people asked what happened, I smiled and said I needed a change. It was true but I didn't realize how much change was heading my way.
I got off to a rough start in January 2020 when my relationship of three years suddenly ended. Like they say in books, there was a hole where my heart used to be. It was crazy trying to survive the heartbreak and then covid-19 happened. The year went on a downward spiral from that point. From various lockdowns to the global financial crisis to being at home for 7 months without friends. It really was tough.
I looked into the mirror one day and realized I could start over with everything the way I had with my hair. Changing my hair became a source of inspiration for changing my life. It was the reset button I didn’t realize I had needed. I started learning to love my hair, however short it was. I started to see myself as beautiful and I began to have fun with my hair. It was a confidence booster for me. I cut my hair a few times during the 7 months I spent at home, shocking my sister even more. I wish I had captured the look on her face anytime I came back from work, sporting a new haircut.
A few months later, I took another bold step and dyed my hair. I was going to be subtle and go with a dark shade of red, but accidents happen and I got a bright reddish-pink instead. That is the hair on my display picture on Instagram. Take a look here. People began to see me differently after that I was no longer a low profile student. I was a point of attraction in school and people had difficulty understanding the bold step I took. Some students literally stared at me. My friends all gaped with their eyes bulging.
Honestly, I was scared when the dye turned out to be a bright color and I immediately wanted to wash the dye off. However, I paused at a mirror, took in a deep breath, and decided to rock it. I mean it was still my hair wasn’t it? My confidence in myself skyrocketed after that.
Before dying my hair, I had always been insecure about my skin tone and how to wear brightly colored things, but after my fortunate accident, I don't question my skin anymore. I love me black and I love me beautiful.
So, what is the moral of my story right? There is only one. Whenever you need to breathe, change pace or just start afresh, you can always take scissors to your hair, watch it fall to the floor, and smile because everything will be alright. Heck, you can do anything to your hair if cutting it or changing it’s length isn’t your thing.
I saw this quote by Coco Chanel somewhere, “ a woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” It is true and this is why…..
Cutting your hair means hitting that reset button, it means exploring or finding something new within yourself. It could be an act of rebellion or defying the norm. A new haircut or a trim, a new color or a highlight, whatever you choose today makes you feel refreshed. It is something new and exciting. A haircut could mean finding or taking back control of a part of your life. It could be trying to cope after a significant life event, good or bad. It is letting go, finding confidence, and embracing the unknown. It is something unique to every woman out there.
So next time you need to make a statement to the world or yourself, you can simply do something different to your hair. It is a life hack you will be glad you used.
