The weirdest thing ever happened to me on a bus ride home
I had the most awkward experience on my way home one day. A stranger asked me to carry her daughter on my lap on the bus. In my part of the world, our transportation system usually means tight spaces, cramped buses, and some good shoving every once in a while.
Due to this, I pretty much understand why parents with children try to avoid paying for many seats on the bus. They always keep their children close. But it seemed like the woman behind me had other plans that day. She didn't want to pay for an extra seat for her little daughter but she also couldn't carry her because of her two other kids. She asked me to help carry her daughter when she was trying to get on the bus and I thought that was all.
However, when she settled into her seat, she asked me to carry her daughter on my lap for the ride. I was confused but being nice is my superpower so I agreed.
Two minutes later panic kicked in and I realized the situation I was in. I lifted both of my hands slightly and made sure I kept them visible at all times. Stories of sexual harassment of children kept floating around my mind. I was looking from left to right, and in my head, I had just been cast in a movie.
I was uncomfortable and disturbed not because I was a predator in the waiting, God forbid. It was disturbing that the mother gave up her daughter easily without realizing the consequences. The world out there is so not safe. The mother was confident because I was a female. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have let a man carry her daughter because people expect sexual predators to be male.
On the contrary, sexual predators come in all forms. Women can also be perpetrators. This knowledge made me more uncomfortable. I was sad for the little girl who was at peace with her situation. She didn't know better and even tried adjusting herself a few times to get comfortable. I was drowning in a sea of discomfort. These situations seem a little better when it involves a familiar face or family but the truth is anyone can be a perpetrator of sexual harassment.
Now the real reason I was panicking was that this young girl was going to grow up thinking it was normal. She would attend family functions and be told to hug uncles or aunties or allow family members to carry her. Personally, I believe this is only okay if the child initiates the physical contact willingly. I want my children to grow up knowing they don’t have to hug anyone they are not comfortable with and they don’t have to suck up to anyone.
I was a victim of sexual harassment as a child and yeah it was a woman who violated me so, I grew up pretty fast after that and became an aggressive protector of my younger sisters. This experience on the bus brought back so many unwanted feelings. I knew what the long road to healing felt like and this made my heart shatter for the young girl who was still on my lap. I could have said something at this point but I didn't. I confuse myself sometimes but who doesn't?
Eventually, after what felt like forever, I got to my bus stop. I turned back to let the mother know I was leaving and she thanked me. As I came down from the bus, I heard her ask another lady to carry her daughter again. I shook my head and walked away. It was an experience I never wanted to have again. Once was good enough for me.
